


Honey, I Liquefied Your Boyfriend

by duelmepharaoh (captain_indigo)



Series: Yugioh Shorts [7]
Category: Yu-Gi-Oh!, Yu-Gi-Oh! Series
Genre: Fluff and Crack, M/M, Multi, flareshipping, goo-gi-oh, rated T because Yugi can't get his mind out of the gutter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-09
Updated: 2017-06-09
Packaged: 2018-11-11 13:48:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11149701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captain_indigo/pseuds/duelmepharaoh
Summary: Isono is a lifesaver, Atem has to spend an uncomfortable amount of time in the bath, and Yugi is just terrible as usual.





	Honey, I Liquefied Your Boyfriend

     "These sheets are never gonna be the same."

     "I'll buy new ones. Can we get back to the problem at hand?"

     "I guess. As fun as it is, we can't really go out in public like this."

     "Obviously." Kaiba's eyes swept over the room, finally settling on an empty water glass on the dresser. As much as he hated Atem's habit of bringing dishes into their room, it was actually beneficial for once. "Come help me."

Yugi looked up from where he was prodding their now horribly gooey pink and blue stained sheets.

     "I need you to hold the glass for me while I remove a sample." Yugi nodded, and helped Kaiba scoop sufficient slime from his body.

They could hear Atem fussing from the bathroom, probably trying to figure out if it was even possible to apply makeup in his current state. Kaiba took the glass of goo, set it outside the door, and picked up his cell.

     "Isono. I need you to come upstairs and collect a sample from outside my room. No, there's no need to come in. Yes. Bring gloves, I don't want you touching it. Don't wake anyone else up, just call me when you get to the lab, I'll walk you through what I need. Excellent."

     "You're gonna have to buy new carpet too," Yugi groaned, finally noticing the wet footprints all over the room.

     "I'm fairly sure that's the least of our worries."

Right on cue, they heard a yelp from the bathroom, followed by the sound of something shattering on tile.

     "'Tem?"

     "Yuubbllllggg!" The panicked sound was clearly supposed to be Yugi's name. Rushing into the bathroom, they were met with the sight of golden puzzle pieces scattered everywhere, and Atem's wide-eyed face as he melted into the floor.

     "Shit!" Yugi dropped to his knees, trying fruitlessly to hold Atem's body together.

     "Bathtub!" Kaiba gasped from above them. Yugi looked up for a moment, confused, but got the picture as Kaiba started scooting what he could of Atem across the tile. He briefly thanked all the gods that Kaiba had a sunken tub. Yugi had the presence of mind to yank the drain closed before a large portion of Atem's body sloshed over the edge. Kaiba grabbed a squeegee from under the sink, and they managed to scrape the rest of Atem off of the floor. Panting, Yugi and Kaiba looked down at the tub full of liquid. They could see vague impressions of Atem's features floating around in the mass, and they appeared to be trying to wiggle themselves to the surface.

     "Atem?" For a moment there was no answer. Yugi leaned over the edge and saw his own pale face reflected back up at him. Kaiba's fingers were buried in his arm in a way that would no doubt be painful if it were actual flesh. After what seemed like years, a pair of lips made their way to the top of the goo.

     "I have never been so uncomfortable in my entire life."

     "Oh thank god," Yugi whispered, sagging against Kaiba's shoulder. "Are you- I mean, obviously you're not ok, but. Are you ok?"

     "I do not seem to be dead, if that's what you're asking."

     "How on earth did you manage to break the puzzle?" Kaiba snapped.

     "Ah. I slipped. Slime and bathroom tile are a dangerous mix."

     "Well yeah," Yugi muttered. "Do you think I can put the puzzle back together, or is it gooey too?"

     "Hmm." Atem rippled a bit around the sparks of gold they could see littering the bottom of the tub. "They feel more solid. It would be worth a try, I certainly do not want to stay like this."

The sound of Kaiba's phone buzzing against the floor made them all jump.

     "Damn. That's Isono. I’ll have to help him run that piece of my arm through the scanners. Yugi?"

     "I'll yell if I need help. It doesn't look like Atem's going anywhere."

Kaiba shuddered, but picked up his phone and retreated to the other room. Yugi took a slow breath, trying to get his heart rate back under control.

     "Ok. Well, this is gonna be weird, but just tell me if anything I'm doing is hurting you, ok?"

     "Of course, aibou. I trust you."

Yugi bit his lip, gathered his courage, and carefully slid his arm down through Atem, his fingers searching for the pieces to the puzzle. The pieces were slippery, but thankfully quite solid, and a pile of them slowly accumulated on the edge of the tub.

     “You ok?”

     “I am almost completely liquid, trapped in a tub, and have both of your entire arms inside my body. What do you think?” Yugi snorted. “And if you dare say ‘kinky’, I swear to Ra I will never speak to you again.”

     “Well  _ someone _ has to lighten the mood around here.” Yugi muttered. The liquid began to agitate slightly, pushing the puzzle pieces under Yugi’s fingers. Once he had them all, he gently withdrew his arms from the tub with a sucking noise that echoed in the too-quiet bathroom. “Alright, time to get this baby back together.” For a while, only the soft clicking of gold under Yugi’s fingers broke the silence. This was only the third time he’d had to complete the puzzle from scratch, but it was coming together almost without thought.

     “It never ceases to amaze me.”

     “Hm?”

     “Seto needed a supercomputer and several hours to do what you can do with your own hands in a few minutes.”

     “The first time took me years, remember?” Yugi didn’t look up from the puzzle. “Plus, I’m still connected to it, I can feel where the pieces want to go. I think that gives me an unfair advantage.”

     “Hmm. Still, I hope someday I can repay you both for all the times you’ve put me back together.”

     “Clearly near-death experiences make you extra sappy,” Kaiba grumbled from the doorway, but his eyes were soft. “Do you want the good news or the bad news first?”

     “Good news,” said Yugi, sliding the last few bits of the puzzle into place.

     “Isono and I have determined that our makeup is most similar to  _ Dictyostelium discoideum _ , which hopefully means that we will stay solid as long as we don’t eat too much or too little.”

     “Similar to  _ what _ ?”

     “Slime molds.”

If Atem had been able to locate his own nose, he would’ve wrinkled it in disgust.

     “I can’t wait to hear the bad news,” Yugi groaned.

     “Creating a formula to repair our genetic modification will take time.”

     “But it can be repaired?” Atem asked, trying to raise his eyeballs enough to peer over the edge of the tub.

     “Of course,” Kaiba huffed. “Did you forget who you’re talking to?”

     “Not for a moment. Aibou, would you mind?”

     “Sure, I’m all done.” Yugi reached over and delicately lowered the puzzle into Atem’s body. He felt it hum under his fingers, and goosebumps rippled up his arms. He yanked his hands away just in time as the tub full of goo swirled, reforming around the puzzle with a wet slurp.  Atem sat up, resting his arms on the tile and looking a bit shell-shocked.

     “I’m quite glad that’s over. Being a liquid is quite disorienting.”

     “I’m just glad we didn’t have to scoop you into a bucket,” Yugi grinned, stroking the back of Atem’s neck soothingly. Kaiba moved to sit on the floor with them, tucking his legs back awkwardly so he could reach. “So what’s next?”

     “I was considering smuggling us all into the lab, there’s only so much I can do over the phone.” Atem was about to reply, but he was interrupted by the loud rumbling of his stomach.

     “Seto, you never said. What exactly do we eat?”

Kaiba coughed nervously.

     “I had Isono do a few tests. The metabolism of our cells seems to respond best to. Ah. Protein-rich fluids.”

     “You’ve  _ got _ to be kidding me.”

     “We’ll pick up protein shakes on the way there,” Kaiba said firmly.

     “Well, that explains why you two are hungry and I’m not,” Yugi giggled.

     “Shall we?” Kaiba extended a hand to Atem, still refusing to acknowledge the laughter.

     “I vote we leave him here,” grumbled Atem, trying not to blush as he was helped out of the bath.

**Author's Note:**

> I actually looked up goo-people "lore" on the internet. I just needed to figure out how Kaiba was going to return them to human form, but whooo boy was that an adventure. I learned about their eating habits (lol) and slime queens and how they communicate and all kinds of fun stuff. I also looked up things about irl slime molds. That was much less exciting.
> 
> ~~someday i will write normal fic again, like maybe some non-horrifying flareship~~


End file.
